For: The Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship Theology Course with Dan Wilt
We don’t often think of movies as art, unless of course they are particularly promoted as an artsy movie or we’ve heard the cinematography is great. We tend to think of movies more as entertainment and whether they make us laugh (or cry in fear!), rather than the particular artist expression that they create.
Just yesterday, a friend and I were visiting a lady whose brother had just died 2 weeks back. She was obviously very sad and although she is part of a large family, she had been particularly close to this brother.
Over the years, I had heard many stories of the ways she had cared for her brother when we was not doing well, when he was oppressed or being pushed around by people or when he was back drinking and things were chaotic again. As we talked, and she shared her tears and sadness mixed in with times of laughter and fond remembering, we found out things about her brother that we had never known.
Her brother had been a talented musician – self taught. She told me how he ordered a video off the TV, some 30+ years ago and taught himself the guitar. She showed me the memorial programme which one of her family members had put together. It was a beautiful work of art. It was in colour with photos of her brother’s guitars and photos of mountain bikes (which had been another love of her brothers in his youth). There were also poems on the back of the programme that had been written by family members.
As we visited together, the only thing that had been giving her any sense of comfort was this music DVD called The Last Waltz. It’s a kind of documentary film by Martin Scorsese, journeying with a band as they go from city to city. The band in the movie, are aptly called “The Band”, who I had never heard of until yesterday. I didn’t make the connection until later but in a very real sense watching this DVD was a way she was connecting with her brother in his love of music.
I only saw maybe 20 minutes of the DVD but I was struck by how beautifully filmed it was, even back in 1978. I also really enjoyed not only the skill of the musicians but also the window into their world, thoughts and the nuances of their individual characters.
It was so poignant for her to be sharing this with us. At times she would introduce things she loved about the band and the different musicians. She kept repeating that the lead singer Robbie Robertson was native. And she was obviously proud of this fact. It also gave her great comfort to have us watch something with her that she loved.
Sometimes those who mourn can be some of the most marginalized people in our society. They are often left to grieve alone. This can in part be because we think that’s what those who mourn need: space. We don’t do very well with people who are in the depths of intense emotion. Our natural response is to move away because we feel helpless or we begin to feel pain too. Sometimes, I think it is because we are are afraid of those who grieve and we don’t know what to say, so it is easier to avoid them.
What our friend needed the most was our tangible presence and room to share something she loved with us. To share both time and space. She longed for us to be present to her and the stories she had to share about the band, herself, her brother.
The other wonderful thing about our time together, was that I was introduced to something I would never have known about; she was able to share her particular love of art and music with me, and it was an intimate and privileged experienced.
I left having sensed a lot of the Lord’s presence with us and also wishing we could have stayed longer to watch the whole movie!
